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A taut railroad blockbuster in which a lazy fat dude presses the wrong button sending a train full of murder towards a city filled with innocents who will ALL DIE unless Denzel Washington can find the right combination of wisdom and sly charm to defy physics.

Whether he does, and in fact the title is as big a lie as calling Titanic ‘This Ship Definitely Won’t Sink’, is something you might already be able to judge for yourself. Whether it’s worth watching anyway is down to how much you enjoy being emotionally manipulated while watching pleasing photography of rusty trains lurching through beaten iron sidings like the biggest, slowest bullet in the world. Pine and Washington are totally functional as the beyond-cliché pairing of old head and young buck, and the film’s packed with the kind of super-accomplished, super-expensive stunt spectacle that Tony Scott seems able to yank from his backside in a constant stream. Enjoyably predictable and stupid.

This text originally appeared in Official Xbox Magazine

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