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Robin Hood

From the outside everything looks fine with this big-budget remake of the classic English folk tale: it’s powered by the Gladiator dream-team of Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe and features loads of leather jerkins and beards. But what the Hollywood duo forget and all the facial hair in Russia couldn’t fix is that mounting a successful blockbuster about the non-implementation of the Magna Carta is an impossibility.

Because that, incredibly, is what the film is about – citizenship and the rights of man rather than, as you might hope, firing arrows into dudes’ necks and giving baked goods to peasants. Not helping is Crowe’s sulky bedhead performance – even more of a downer than that wandering accent – or the film shifting in tone from yawny politics to haughty pantomime like a bucking horse every time King John struts on screen. Hefty action sequences show how it could have been done, but what we’re left with is a confused swill.

This text originally appeared in Official Xbox Magazine

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