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Because I hate Robin Hood

December 3, 2011

Not in general of course. I watched Kevin Costner in Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves five times at the Chatham Cannon and visited Sherwood forest for my 11th birthday.I’m talking about Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe’s tedious and self-important remake from 2010, which I reviewed thusly.

Robin Hood (Ridley Scott, 2010)

From the outside everything looks fine with this big-budget remake of the classic English folk tale: it’s powered by the Gladiator dream-team of Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe and features loads of leather jerkins and beards. But what the Hollywood duo forget and all the facial hair in Russia couldn’t fix is that mounting a successful blockbuster about the non-implementation of the Magna Carta is an impossibility.

Because that, incredibly, is what the film is about – citizenship and the rights of man rather than, as you might hope, firing arrows into dudes’ necks and giving baked goods to peasants. Not helping is Crowe’s sulky bedhead performance – even more of a downer than that wandering accent – or the film shifting in tone from yawny politics to haughty pantomime like a bucking horse every time King John struts on screen. Hefty action sequences show how it could have been done, but what we’re left with is a confused swill.

Text originally appeared in Official Xbox Magazine #67

One Comment leave one →
  1. scarecrow78 permalink
    April 1, 2013 1:16 am

    And why did they have to have a Scotsman, a Welshman and an Irishman as the “merry men”? Why is Englishness so toxic to Hollywood movie makers (even Englishmen like Ridley Scott) that they need to leaven the Englishness with non-English characters? I’d like to see a film about Rob Roy or Robert the Bruce have some of their sidekicks as English…

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